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Helping Children Cope With Divorce

  • Minimize The Impact Of Divorce On Your Children

Children will inevitably experience the collateral effects of divorce. They will likely feel confused and anxious about the changes happening in their lives. While many parents going through divorces are understandably stressed by the turn of events, it is critical not to neglect your children. If you are a concerned parent going through a divorce, here are 5 ways to help your child:

1) Always assure your children that they are loved

It is possible for children to blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Therefore, do not let them be consumed by unnecessary guilt. Let them know that it is not their fault and that there was nothing they could have done to prevent it. Importantly, reassure them that both parents still love them and will continue to care for them in spite of the circumstances.

2) Communicate with your children

Communication with your children is vital during this period of separation with your spouse, in order to alleviate any feelings of isolation they may have. Help them to fully comprehend the situation and what may happen in future, by acting honestly and not sugarcoating the facts. On the other hand, it is also imperative to listen to your children’s desires so as to accommodate their expectations into your divorce plans.

3) Understand your children’s feelings

Encourage your children to express their feelings, be it anger, disappointment or sadness, as opposed to them having to bear their feelings alone. Your child may start exhibiting bratty behaviour due to difficulty in adjusting but be more understanding and less quick to discipline. In the extreme event that their emotions get out of hand, you may want to consider seeking professional help.

4) Leave your children out of any arguments with your spouse

Avoid bad-mouthing your spouse or forcing your children to pick sides. The choice for them should not have to be between a rock and a hard place, therefore, do not make them pass messages or use them as pawns to anger your spouse. While your spouse may be terrible as a partner, they may be great as a parent, so remain neutral in front of your children rather than engage in the fault game.

5) Allow minimal disruptions to your children’s everyday routine

Stability is essential to your children given the emotional upheaval they have to go through. Consequently, try to minimise changes to their schedules so that they maintain a sense of familiarity in their lives. Lastly, both parents should enforce the same disciplinary rules as possible, in ensuring consistency in your children’s development.

Are you going through a divorce and have questions? Call the PKWA Divorce team at (65) 6397 6100

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